A heartful obituary for your mother presents her funeral arrangements while allowing you to recount the major facts and achievements of her life. Rather than being a dry recounting of facts, an obituary can emphasize how she impacted the lives of those she met, whether she was a stay-at-home mom, had a career, or was a volunteer in the community.
Writing an obituary for your mother can be something that is very difficult. Regardless of the cause of death, losing a loved one is always challenging. Losing a family member can be even more difficult, but when it comes to a parent, that becomes even more pressing.
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Where Should You Start In Writing An Obituary To Your Beloved Mother?
Obituaries are both informational and a tribute. The bare facts of any obituary are her full name, date of death, funeral details, and instructions about flowers. Your mother was so much more than the bare bones of her life, so the obituary for your mother should be so much more.
The obit might go on to mention other relevant details about the person’s life.
- Surviving family, including spouse, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and siblings
- Educational background, including what high school or college they attended
- Date of birth and the city where they were born
- Church, sorority, and other organizations that were important to her
- Employment
- Major accomplishments
- Details about close friends and family members
- Any additional biographical information you want to include
You can then list more interesting details if you desire.
Obituary Examples Of What To Include
Many short obituaries are referred to as death notices. Most newspapers charge for printing death announcements, while they may run longer obituaries as news stories. In big cities where there are many deaths, only the more prominent are featured, although, in small towns, ordinary citizens are more likely to be featured in obituaries.
Some papers, such as the Cleveland Plain Dealer, offer paid obituary options that average nearly $500. Others, like the New York Times, offer only-only death notices for $79. The cost may limit what a family publishes, but obituaries used in funeral programs or as the basis for eulogies and presentations at a celebration of life service can be more robust at no charge.
The simplest and cheapest obituary, especially if there are no public services
Mary Smith, 86, beloved mother and friend, passed away December 14, 2012. Memorial donations can be sent to St. Judes Children’s Hospital.
The next level of detail, with information about the services
Mary Smith, 86, beloved mother and friend, passed away December 14, 2012, at her home in Rockport, OH. She leaves to mourn her husband Herbert, sons Frank (Ellen), William (Kelly), daughter Ruth Johnson (Thomas), five grandchildren, and one great-grandchild. Memorial donations can be sent to St. Judes Children’s Hospital. Visitation will be held 12/19 at the Jones-Brown Funeral Home, followed by funeral services at 10 am on 12/20 at St. Roberts Church. Interment to follow at Holy Cross Cemetary. In lieu of flowers, memorial donations can be sent to St. Judes Children’s Hospital.
More biographical information
Mary White Smith, 86, beloved mother and friend, passed away after a long struggle with kidney disease on December 14, 2012, at her home in Rockport, OH. Born in Indianapolis, IN, on February 2, 1926, she graduated from Lincoln High School and then St. Boniface School of Nursing, where she received her RN. After she married Herbert Smith and had her children, she continued to work as a nurse until she retired in 1996.
She leaves to mourn her husband Herbert, sons Frank (Ellen), William (Kelly), daughter Ruth Johnson (Thomas), five grandchildren, and one great-grandchild. Memorial donations can be sent to St. Judes Children’s Hospital. Visitation will held 12/19 at the Jones-Brown Funeral Home, 123 Main St, Rockport, followed by funeral services at 10 am on 12/20 at St. Roberts Church. Interment to follow at Holy Cross Cemetary. In lieu of flowers, memorial donations can be sent to St. Judes Children’s Hospital.
More detail plus more insight into her life
Mary White Smith, 86, beloved mother and friend, passed away after a long struggle with kidney disease on December 14, 2012, at her home in Rockport, OH. Born in Indianapolis, IN, on February 2, 1926, she graduated from Lincoln High School and then St. Boniface School of Nursing, where she received her RN. After she married Herbert Smith and became the loving mother to Frank, William, and Ruth, she continued to work as an oncology nurse until she retired in 1996.
Throughout her life, Mary remained a proud member of her high school sorority. She and her good friends and sorors Alma Tyson and Betty Brown devoted many Saturdays to serving community meals at the Rockport Food Pantry. She was known for her kindness, her wicked sense of humor, and her blueberry crumble – all of which she shared with those who came to the pantry.
She leaves to mourn her loved husband Herbert, sons Frank (Ellen), William (Kelly), daughter Ruth Johnson (Thomas), five grandchildren, one great-grandchild, her sisters Annie Burrows and Patricia Thomas, and four nieces and nephews. Visitation will be held 12/19 at the Jones-Brown Funeral Home, 123 Main St, Rockport, followed by funeral services at 10 am on 12/20 at St. Roberts Church. Interment to follow at Holy Cross Cemetary. In lieu of flowers, memorial donations can be sent to St. Judes Children’s Hospital.
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Any of the above obituary samples would be appropriate for the newspaper or a funeral program, although the more detail, the more costly they would be to run. For a eulogy at the funeral or afterward at the reception, examples that illustrate Mary’s many fine qualities can paint an even more detailed picture of her life.
What Tone Do You Want Your Obituary To Take?
Mothers are generally revered, but that doesn’t mean that her obituary should read like a resume.
If the family and especially your deceased mom were humorous people, you could inject a sense of humor into the passage as well. Often, adding interesting or funny anecdotes or stories is the easiest way to inject humor into an obit.
Writing in a respectful and factual tone is often the best route to take. Whether this obituary will be given as a eulogy as well, or if it will just be sent to the local newspaper, a respectful tone can be best to remember her and not create added drama or cause of arguments among the remaining family.
Finding an appropriate balance of humor and seriousness is crucial and is determined by the makeup of your family. If your family is more serious and “buttoned up,” sticking to the facts and accomplishments is a great and safe way to approach things. Sharing information about their volunteer work and passions could be appropriate as well.
Why Should You Leave Some Facts Out Of An Obituary For Mother?
When it’s time to write an obituary for your mother, some details may not need to be included. Typically, details that may be embarrassing or otherwise hard to bring up should be avoided. If the mother had a strained relationship with her first child or in-laws, a funeral service is not the time to bring those details to the surface.
Typically when it comes to memorial services, playing it safe is best. If there is a detail about the mother’s life that was downplayed in life, the funeral service is not the place to bring it up.
Maybe the mother lost her battle with breast cancer after a long fight, which might be inspirational to many. In other cases, the cause of death may be left out if it is particularly hard to talk about such as when the death announcement was sudden, unexpected, and brutally painful to her family. Even if these facts are mentioned in passing, it is better to focus on the positives and recount uplifting details for the immediate family.
If you did not have the best relationship with your mother, writing an appropriate obit can be difficult. In situations like this, taking the high road is always the best way to approach things.
Instead of creating drama or arguments in the family, focus on facts and keep things brief. Lying is not necessary, but there are always ways to phrase things in a respectful manner. A funeral service or a public space like a newspaper article are rarely appropriate places to air out dirty laundry or get even with a family member.
In these days when identity theft is rampant, you might consider leaving out specific details such as maiden name, date of birth, or specific details.
Finding Examples Of Obituaries For Mothers
Online obituaries are a great place to start if you are having trouble as you start to write an obituary for your wonderful mother.
There are free obituary templates available on a variety of websites, so using one may be helpful to help come up with examples to assist in the writing process.
Writing an obituary for your mother will never be easy, but having an example to follow can make the actual process less stressful for you.